"home"

Good chilly afternoon from LPB! Lately we have been preparing to make our vacation trip home to visit family and introduce our son to his US family. The suitcases have been organized, the piles of considered clothes laid out, the toys, snacks and in-flight entertainment carefully chosen and tickets purchased. But one thing that I keep procrastinating on is preparing myself mentally and emotionally for the visit "home."

When we come "home," or as in our upcoming case: when we visit "where we grew up," it is often difficult for me on so many levels. If you know me well, you know how extroverted I am. However, living a missionary lifestyle has changed that a little. Not so much here in my mission context, but more so in how I relate to and interact with people "back home." I find myself tending to listen much more before speaking, to feel out of place by being around so many people who look like me, to feel awkward when I don´t use Spanish, to retreat into books and papers, to mesh myself even more closely to my wife, and to be more guarded, among other things.

Becoming this way "back home" has made people who knew me growing up (on previous visits) ask, "What´s wrong with Justin?" And while there is nothing wrong, I do struggle. Visiting the place where we grew up causes me to struggle because I feel like a fish out of water. Most people in our communities know me, my family, my community history, etc. But they may not be able to imagine the me now, the me that lives between multiple cultures, languages, cosmovisions, political protests/marches on a daily basis. The current me can´t understand anymore what it is like to live in the States because it isn´t my context.

In reflecting on our upcoming trip to visit where we grew up, I think, when you accept God´s call, it often is a call that asks you to risk being changed by the call itself; without questioning or explaining that change. Sometimes a call from God to leave your "homeland" is a call to be misunderstood and uncomfortable. It is a call to give up your life as you knew it and to live a new life in God.

Last year I was visiting a good friend from seminary and we were driving back to his house when he told me that I didn´t seem comfortable. I honestly had to think about what he was saying. He said, "You seem as if you´ve got a lot on your mind. You seem like you feel out of place and are no longer comfortable here." After silently reflecting on his observations for a few minutes, I answered, "you´re right, I´m not comfortable any more." I greatly appreciated that he heard me out without trying to fix the situation. Though I now don´t remember all that we talked about on that ride, one statement I do remember telling him was, "I think being comfortable numbs you from being awake to the realities of the world." It was a self-reminder, "Justin, you´re not the same anymore, you´ve changed, the missionary call has changed you...and that´s okay."

On becoming a Dad

As many of you know by now, Kari and I have a new son, Everette Josef, who has blessed our lives with his presence. One never is fully ready to become a parent, however God prepares our hearts to receive a new little being, a new little blessing. I can´t tell you how it feels to feel that excitement of coming home from work and seeing his toothy grin; or of how I miss him and Kari when I´m away from them; or that sleepy-snuggle smell when he first wakes up; or the sound of his little voice calling "Dada, Dada".

When we first got to meet him, that papa bear within me was still dormant and hadn´t realized the protection that would be needed to survive here. Now that papa bear is fully present, vigilantly on the lookout in order to protect my son and fight for my family.

I often think, what are the life lessons I want to teach "Eber" (pronounced liked "ever" just with a "b") or what are the life lessons that he will learn by watching me, his dad? While I don´t know them all, there is one lesson I want to be sure he learns, caring.

In Bolivia, and even in the national Lutheran Church, traditional family culture and customs dictate that the woman is the one to raise the children, which means it´s "her" responsibility to: feed, bathe, put to sleep, change the diapers, cuddle, soothe, snuggle, carry, hug, kiss, etc. In Bolivia, gender roles within families are very specific and historically defined. And by now, you probably know that Kari and I, and our little family, don´t fit into the "Bolivian family mold".

Once, I attended a "Body and Spirituality" workshop with some people from our church where these family gender roles were being discussed. Everyone had to answer the question, "What does society say about your role depending on your gender?" Many women answered that their roles and responsibilities in society were to "procreate, have and raise children". Meanwhile I answered, "Bolivian society says that I CAN´T raise a child, that I CAN´T take care of a child because I am a man." I received strange looks from many of the women and I didn´t understand why. So I asked one Lutheran woman sitting next to me what the strange looks were about. She told me that here, traditionally if a man is seen carrying his baby, feeding it, changing it´s diapers...really taking any responsibility in participating in the child raising or parenting that he was considered gay.

"WAIT, hang on a second, I don´t think I understood you well. So if a man cares for his child, is nurturing and actively parenting, then he´s GAY?" I asked a bit exasperated. "Yes, because him caring for his children would mean he´s soft, lacking in masculinity, because boys play with balls and girls play with dolls", they all replied and then proceeded to vomit a slew of derogatory names and labels for gay men in Bolivia. To say the least, I was left speechless, which is quite difficult to do to me.

There was a part of me as a missionary and pastor who tried to hear what they said as culturally contextual and based on some local cosmovision or their own interpretation of the Bible. The future father part of me who was expecting the arrival of my new son heard what they said and thought, "Are you kidding me??? I can´t believe you´re actually saying this...I can´t believe you´re saying this to me!!!" I had to stop myself before that papa bear within lashed out with claws swinging, taking no prisoners.

I sat there reflecting to myself on what I had just hard, ignoring the remainder of the workshop, and trying to process everything. My stubbornness began to activate and I was determined to show them otherwise. That a good, positive, strong father is one who cares, nurtures, parents, helps raise and feeds and takes care of his child. I was determined to carry my child because I am his dad and to be in solidarity and support the other few Bolivians dads who carry their children and actively parent.

On Monday, March 19, it was Father´s Day here in Bolivia. The newspaper that day had a quote on the front page stating: "Fathers are becoming more flexible, but less compassionate." As I read that, I thought, how sad.

With all of this contextual reality here, I want to be the kind of father who fights to be a good father, so that other Bolivian fathers (and mothers) can see that it´s okay for dads to love their children and be compassionate and caring and nurturing and understanding. I want to teach Eber that being a dad means being a strong, responsible man who plays on the floor with his kids and sings silly songs, makes goofy faces, dances around, can cry, and can cradle his kids. I want to teach him that becoming a dad isn´t easy, but the fight to be a good one is totally worth it.

Holidays in a foreign land

Greetings blog readers, this is Pastor Justin signing back in for my quarterly blog. Yes, you´re right, I used to blog monthly, but before that weekly and before that almost daily. Well what happened was life, work, ministry, mission, teaching, writing 3 books and translating another...can you tell that doesn´t leave much time for blogging now.

At any rate, Happy Advent!  Yes, we are midst of the Advent season, which has its flavors of waiting, anticipation, hoping, joy, faith, peace, love, unexpectedness...of the coming of our Lord. And soon, yes, Jesus the Savior of the world will come into our existence once again, to fill our world and faith with light and life. Great things are happening and we hear God´s advice to: "wake up! get ready! expect the unexpected!" (Mark 13:37)

And as we move through this unexpecting liturgical season, I wonder if Joseph had expected the unexpected when he received news that the Roman Emperor wanted to have a count of the whole world... I wonder if Joseph had expected that he might have to leave town with his pregnant fiancée and walk for 4 days in order to cover the 80 mile distance between Nazareth and Bethlehem... I wonder if Joseph had expected that he´d be celebrating the birth of his son, who just so happened to be God, in a foreign land, rejected, marginalized, unwelcomed, alone... I wonder if being in such a different place without his family or support structure at such an important time in his life influenced how he experienced everything...

This year we have unexpectedly decided to stay in Bolivia for Christmas and New Years, something that we haven´t done yet since we moved here in 2009. Most of our friends here keep asking if we´re staying or traveling. When we say we´re staying, they´re excited because they know they´ll get to share their customs and traditions with us. But what they don´t ask is about how we will feel staying here, away from our families back home. While yes, we are looking forward to experiencing Christmas in Bolivia, we also have a longing deep within to be with our families at this special time of the year.

As we´ve come to find out, it´s difficult to "get in the holiday spirit" when we´re here; no matter if it´s Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas or Easter. Partly it could be that we´re in spring and will soon be entering summer/rainy season, partly it could be that there´s no Christmas music on the radio, partly it could be that we´re far from family. All these things and many more make the season feel seasonally.  Some holidays just feel like they lack the spark of excitement, the newness of things, the warmth of tradition. And yes, as my family knows, tradition doesn´t necessarily mean "sameness" it means love and telling stories and being together (no matter when it happens to come around in the year).

But despite the difficulty in gaining that holiday skip this year, we are blessed, we have God with us (Immanuel) and we anxiously await the birth of Christ in our hearts and in our midst to bring good news and salvation to the world. As we say in Bolivia, "waiting costs", but the rewards are rich! Thanks be to God, Happy Advent and Merry Christmas to you all!

We are all co-learners!

Good Tuesday afternoon! I just arrived here at the seminary where we teach, el Instituto Superior Ecuménico Andino de Teología - ISEAT, is its name. Being Lutheran professors here is part of our call to work with and serve the Bolivian Evangelical Lutheran Church. As I may have mentioned before, we started teaching here in January of 2010 and have plans to continue here as long as we´re serving in Bolivia.

One of the neat things about being able to teach, having just come out of seminary (LSTC) in 2009, is that I still remember what it was like to be a seminary student. The majority of my students are around my age 18-45 and come from a variety of faith traditions and churches. About half are Roman Catholic and the other half are a blend of Protestants (Methodists, Lutherans, Evangelicals, etc.) Most of them are second career and are taking classes at ISEAT at night during the week. This often mean that they arrive to my class tired, hungry, thirsty and not in the mood to hear an hour and a half long lecture.

The first class I taught here in 2010 was Church History 1: from the founding of the Christian Church to the dawn of the Reformation. Yes, that meant that I had to cover 15 centuries in 12 weeks...if you think it is impossible, it´s not, just hurried. I first taught as I had been taught, which seems only natural. I lectured and they listened...for that was the way I had learned. However, I quickly realized that when students are bored out of their mind, they are less apt to learn... go figure. Also they didn´t read the assigned readings nor turn in homeworks, papers, essays and what they did turn in was often plagiarized. So I asked them what was going on. They told me I was giving entirely too much work for them to realistically do in their free time. Ah, I remembered uttering those words to my friends in seminary...why was it that each semester we started classes we were already 300 pages behind in our readings?

Luckily, I had a live-in professor in Bolivia who taught me to navigate the new, uncharted waters of methodologies and pedagogy. Now remember that I am a trained biochemist and pastor...not necessarily a teacher or seminary professor. So I had a thing or two to learn and thanks be to God, Kari taught me everything I know as a teacher-professor. She taught me about effective lesson plans that should guide the lesson, not make it rigid and inflexible. She taught me about objectives and how to create assessments to make sure I had reached my teaching goals. She taught me how to have fun with my students and be dynamic and spontaneous.

Now being in my second year as a seminary professor, every class I teach is half dynamic which means I have created and incorporated activities (most with movement) that make the subject matter apply to the daily lives and situations of my students in their real contexts. This may seem impossible, but it makes learning more fun...go figure. So now, my seminary professor colleagues here are asking about mine and Kari´s teaching methodologies because they have heard from our students that they´re staying awake in our classes and having fun while learning. Some dynamics I use in teaching Church History, New Testament, Worship and Liturgy and Greek 1 are: thematic games, small group work, large group work, presentations, plays-skits, art projects, personal investigations, DVDs, YouTube videos, races, candy, etc. Also, their exams, tests and quizzes always have a part that asks them to apply a specific theme to their daily context or rather relate to said theme from their context. This is how I wish I had experienced theological education in seminary. I know that my experiences teaching here in Bolivia are helping to shape and form the professor I one day hope to be.

This quarter I´m teaching Worship and Liturgy and Greek 1. Two completely different subjects that, in my opinion, are very practical subjects. For me, this means that everything we learn, discuss, watch must have some real life connector that makes it applicable. And I have stuck with this teaching methodology and/or philosophy because my students have responded positively to me as their professor on the end of quarter evaluations. As I continue teaching and experimenting with adult-learning in higher theological education, I have plans to incorporate even more popular education and dialogue education models than I have been using thus far. As I believe and tell my students, "In this class we are all co-learners, the only difference is that we´re learning different things from one another."

So my questions for you blog readers are: how do you teach someone else something? do you think we learn things for the purpose of teaching/training someone else? do you think learning should be free for everyone? if you teach, how have you changed your teaching methods over the years? how have you learned to incorporate the students´ voice more in the learning event? Thanks be to God for learning and teaching!

Home Assignment busy-ness

Greetings All! This is Pastor Justin signing into his long-lost blog to let you know of latest updates...WE ARE ON HOME ASSIGNMENT!!! Woohoo! This means that we are traveling around the US, preaching and presenting in ELCA Congregations about our missions and ministries in Bolivia. I am realizing now that perhaps I could have posted our travel schedule sooner, but better late than never.

June:
2-4: NC Synod Assembly, Hickory NC
5: Holy Trinity Evangelical Lutheran Church, Raleigh NC
12: Advent Lutheran Church, York PA
19: Holy Trinity Lutheran Church, Hickory NC
25: Messiah Lutheran Church, Salisbury NC

July:
3: Christ Lutheran Church, Libby MT
7: MT Synod gathering, Great Falls MT 
10: Bethlehem Lutheran Church, Billings MT
17: United Lutheran Church, Grand Forks ND
24: Bethlehem Lutheran Church, Chicago IL
31: Philadelphia Lutheran Church, Dallas NC & Resurrection Lutheran Church, Kings Mtn. NC

August:
VACATION!!!

Also, something you might be interested in knowing is that  since I am not blogging as much due to being on the road, Kari is keeping a smaller blog running on her website: http://karieller.weebly.com.
Please check it out for photos of where we´ve been and you´re ELCA sisters and brothers in other parts of the US.

Take care and many blessings from our busy summer road trips!
+Justin

what´s new pastorcat...oh oh oh oh...

Good Wednesday morning! A month has almost passed since my previous post, however life is así. The new administration of the IELB has been settling into their new roles and getting to know each other better. The nice thing is that there seems to be a willing spirit of teamwork. We were blessed to have the opportunity to sit down with the new Pastor-Presidente to hear his vision of the new administration for the new four years and how our accompanying role with the IELB may look. We left the meeting feel a fresh sense of understanding and that there is much to be done on the horizon. Really, as we are coming to find out, not much in the area of projects will be done during 2011, but will be time to prepare and plan for new implementations for 2012. This works well, I think especially because we won´t be here for two and a half months due to being on Home Assignment for the ELCA during the summer months.

We are also currently in the process of winding up our trimester at the seminary (ISEAT-www.iseatbolivia.org). Final exams are tomorrow for mine and Kari´s students. We have been blessed with good groups of students this first trimester and I have already heard that I will be teaching Worship and Liturgy again in the fall trimester along with a "tutoría" of biblical Greek! We shall see how that plays out...

So now we are awaiting the arrival of our boss in a couple of weeks, finishing project proposals, books and tying up any loose ends before heading out. This month of transitions after the IELB national assembly has been a time of deepening discernment, vision casting for the future and exploration of new areas of growth for the national Bolivian Lutheran church. We are filled again with hope and trust that this church remains in God´s merciful and grace-filled hands. Thanks be to God!

Asamblea General de la Iglesia Evangélica Luterana Boliviana (IELB)

Good Monday morning! Today we are resting after an eventful weekend at the IELB national assembly and hosting international friends and guests. We congratulate newly elected Pastor-Presidente Emilio Aslla Flores and the new Executive Council (consejo directivo). At the assembly we presented (photo above) on what we had done with the church in our two years here from 2009-2011. At the end of our presentation, we received affirmation by the assembly.  (below: Pastor Marianne Wagner greeting the Pastor-Presidente Emilio Aslla and Exec. Council)

The assembly was in Choquinayra, a small town outside of Viacha about an hour and a half outside of La Paz. It was Thursday, Friday and Saturday filled with inaugurations, presentations, voting, eating, sleeping, installations and a fair amount of discord. But overall, the Holy Spirit was present and change happened...now we are in a new era and we trust that God will guide us all.

We had several international guests with us: The Rev. Dr. Patricia Cuyatti from the Lutheran World Federation (photo above), The Rev. Marianne Wagner from the Lutheran Church of Palatinate in Germany and the Gustav-Adolf-Werk, the Rev. Maija Kuoppala from the Finnish Evangelical Lutheran Mission and Mr. David Wunsch from the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. David and Maija were election observers/counters for the assembly voting (photo below).

The assembly´s voices were heard and the new administration and executive council consist of representatives from each of the 10 districts of the IELB and the Eastern Missions (Cobija, Cochabamba and Santa Cruz). There is more representation of the diverse districts and languages, but we lack an equality of gender with the absence of women in higher church positions. With everything new, we continue to pray that this church will be faithful to their calling as pastors and leaders to proclaim the good news of Jesus Christ and lift up this church, making it more solid and sustainable. Thanks be to God!